The Five Saddest Death Scenes in Kids Movies

This was vaguely amusing...

The Five Saddest Death Scenes in Kids Movies

18.08.2009

Sometimes in a kid’s movie, either to further the plot or merely to sell more toys, a death scene is required. Whereas Arnold Schwarzenegger movies have desensitized adults to on-screen violence and death (in addition to poor acting, cheap catchphrases, and an accent thicker than a sumo wrestler’s waistband) children aren’t used to emotions more complex than hunger, tiredness, and the ever-present fear induced by Sarah Jessica Parker’s face. Which makes death in a kid’s movie about ten times more poignant and potent. So, because everyone loves re-living the traumas of childhood, here are five of the saddest deaths in a kid’s movie.


‘Transformers: The Movie’ - The Death of Optimus Prime

This is a tough one - how to write comically about one of the most tragic moments in the lives of millions of children. I don’t think that there was a single kid who watched this film who wasn’t shocked to see Prime die after his epic battle with Megatron. As a five year old, I literally could not believe that this beloved hero could be killed. It was like waking up and being told that Santa’s sleigh had been hit by a Surface to Air Missile, that the reindeer were in intensive care, and that Santa would now be delivering presents in heaven.

But the worst thing was how it happened - Hot Rod (foolishly) trying to help Prime, Megatron (skillfully) seizing the opportunity to make use of an concealed firearm, and Prime (tragically) biting the dust. This followed hot on the heels of half of Prime’s fellow Autobots being decimated in the opening half of the movie. Of course, at the time it didn’t occur to me that the primary reason that the filmmakers had chosen to permanently scar their audience in this way was because Hasbro were bringing out a line of brand new characters/action figures and had decreed that almost all of the existing characters should be wiped out!


‘The Lion King’ - Scar gives Mufasa a Helping Hand

Sometimes it’s better to be smart than strong, especially when you’re trying to launch a coup. Scar was clearly not the alpha male in the pride. Of the two royal brothers, he was the skinny, less attractive one. The one whom all the girl lions ignored. But while Mufasa spent his youth getting busy with the lionesses, Scar spent his lonely days planning, and plotting, until one day Simba gets caught in a stampede of wildebeests. Mufasa rushes to save him, finds himself clinging on the edge of the cliff by his ‘finger tips’ and begging Scar for his help. Scar ain’t gonna help you Mufasa. Scar didn’t get laid remember? It’s time to meet your maker my friend. Meanwhile everyone else just reached for the tissues.


‘The NeverEnding Story’ - Artax the Horse Commits Suicide

Proving that depression is not merely a human condition, poor Artax the horse willfully met his demise in the Swamps of Sadness by allowing himself to sink into the mud and drown. I guess that he realized that his dream of winning the Grand National was never going to happen, what with being a fictional horse ridden by a kid in a children’s fantasy world. It’s kind of like waking up at 32, being overweight, jobless, living at home with your mum, and realizing that you’re never gonna be a Formula 1 racing champion (with your mum’s house being a metaphor for the Swamp of Sadness).


‘Bambi’ - Bambi’s mother takes one for team

The seminal classic - Bambi’s mother ’sacrifices’ herself so that Bambi can survive. Technically, that’s not true because no hunter is going to shoot a fawn when there is a big deer waiting to get it. The pathos comes when Bambi, after running back to the thicket, yells out something along the lines of “We made it Mom!”, only to find out that his “mother can’t be with him anymore” - since she is now a wall ornament.


‘My Girl’ - Macaulay Culkin’s character dies after stepping on a beehive

As a kid, two things baffled me about this movie:

1. How is it that the ingenious kid from ‘Home Alone’ could be killed by bee stings yet survive a run-in with Joe Pesci?
2. If he suffered from a known allergy that meant that a bee sting wouldl kill him, then why the hell was he antagonizing a bunch of bees? That’s like a man whose known allergy is getting viciously crushed by a former world heavyweight boxing champion walking up to Mike Tyson, calling him a “limp wristed fairy”, and spitting in his face.

Still this was a poignant death and definitely made the girls cry. Of course, no number of cinematic bee stings can make a man cry. In fact, the only film that could reduce me to tears is…’Transformers: The Movie’.

Source: The Daily Different

District 9 Premiere

We saw the South African District 9 premiere at the Rosebank Zone last night, and quite an event it was. Plenty of people (including some I know off Twitter and LJ), nice snacks, and wine. The whole Zone was booked out, so the shows started at staggered times; ours started at 20:45.

I really enjoyed the movie. It was a B-grade film, and perhaps it has been hyped a little too much, but I found it entertaining, and it was so absolutely cool to see Johannesburg feature in a major film. I might be wrong, but this might possibly be the first time Johannesburg has featured as the setting for any relatively major international film. The second half wasn't as interesting as the first, but there were still good moments.

The music score was unfortunately pretty poor; derivative, and no South African flavour at all. The film could have done with something more original - hell, like pieces from the Soweto Gospel Choir or Ladysmith Black Mambazo instead of wailing North African bits.

( Cut for mild spoilers and images )

These articles were interesting:
5 Things You Didn't Know About District 9
District 9: Science is the casualty in human-alien conflict

So, what did you think of it? If you're not South African, any comments on the SA flavour?

SF and Fantasy's Greatest Tearjerkers

These were interesting:
SF and Fantasy's 26 Greatest Tearjerkers

Sadly, I haven't seen half of those.