Manto getting a liver transplant

[claidheamhmor]

Apparently our esteemed former Minister of Health may be getting a second liver transplant. For those who don't know, Manto had a reputation for heavy drinking, and during her tenure as Health Minister, she and former President Mbeki were instrumental in denying government-supplied antiretroviral drugs to HIV/AIDS patients. Hayibo has this to say:

Dr Johnnie Walker, Dr Jack Daniels on standby for Manto transplant

PRETORIA. South Africa's top surgeons are standing by as speculation mounts that former Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang will require a second liver transplant. According to insiders, liver experts Dr Johnnie Walker and Dr Jack Daniels are ready to lead an all-star team featuring Dr Jameson, Dr Gilbey, and French consultant Dr Vermouth.

Weekend newspapers reported on speculation that Tshabalala-Msimang could need a second transplant because her first liver has been rejected by her body in much the same way as her policies were rejected by modern science.

This morning her aides said they did not want to speculate on her condition, although they did confirm that Tshabalala-Msimang had asked the media to call them "advisors" rather than "aides" because "'aides' sounds too much like 'Aids', and 'Aids' sounds like something that might get someone accused of genocide through negligence".

However, independent sources confirmed this morning that a crack team of surgeons and liver experts had been assembled to perform a second transplant if it was required.

According to Glen Fiddich, spokesman for the Thabo Mbeki African Renaissance Ubuntu Clinic and Sanatorium in Sandton, Tshabalala-Msimang would be operated on by a "dream team" including Dr Johnnie Walker and Dr Jack Daniels leading the likes of Dr Jameson, Dr Gilbey and Dr Vermouth.

"At this point the patient is really on the rocks," explained Fiddich. "But she's more shaken than stirred."

He said that rumours of alcohol abuse should be "taken with a pinch of salt and a dash of lime".

"I don't have Absolut 100 percent proof," he said.

He added that Tshabalala-Msimang had plenty to be grateful for.

"For one thing she can thank her lucky stars that she is not an HIV-positive patient during her own tenure as Health Minister," he said.

"She would have died five years ago and been recorded as another victim of cerebral malaria, poverty, racism, or all three."

He said that Tshabalala-Msimang had been offered an African potato instead of a replacement liver before her first transplant but he confirmed that she had opted for the liver and would probably go the same route this time if a transplant was needed.

Source: Hayibo