On religious tolerance

[claidheamhmor]

This satire by Hayibo was amusing:

Pick n Pay bows to Amish pressure group, pulls Popular Mechanics off shelves

CAPE TOWN. Retail giant Pick n Pay has announced that it will withdraw the latest issue of Popular Mechanics from its shelves following protests from Amish lobbyists who say that the magazine attacks their lifestyle and values. The move follows last month's decision by the retailer to pull student magazine Sax Appeal from stores after complaints from offended Christians.

Attacks on Christianity and Jesus Christ unleashed a storm of protest against the University of Cape Town's student magazine in February, with many Christians abandoning meekness and a possible shot at inheriting the earth in favour of stinging attacks on the magazine's editorial team.

Pick n Pay subsequently pulled the issue from its shelves, agreeing that it was deeply insulting to Christian people.

Asked if it would pull gossip magazines You and Heat, both of which are deeply insulting to intelligent people, a spokeswoman for the retailer said that it "probably wouldn't".

"Religious beliefs are much more important than intelligent principles," explained Chastity Haliburton.

"Which is why we are taking the Amish protest very seriously. Even though they choose to live in the 16th Century, and would rather die of gangrene than use an Elastoplast, it is a belief system and therefore beyond criticism."

According to Ms Haliburton a group of twelve Amish farmers staged their protest outside the Kommetjie branch of Pick n Pay yesterday morning, obstructing the entrance to the store with wooden wheelbarrows, a horse-drawn buggy, and five crates of women.

The protest lasted from 3am until 3.15am, at which point the farmers had to go home to make sure that their wives were not slacking over the butter churn.

According to the group's spokesman, Ezekiel Yoder, Popular Mechanics was "the Devil working through the diabolical device of the printed word".

"This magazine openly mocks us and our way of life," said Yoder. "It strikes at the foundation of our beliefs."

Asked why the Amish had opted for protest instead of a traditional boycott of the store, Yoder admitted that they had in fact been boycotting Pick n Pay since it installed fridges and cash registers in the 1970s.

But he said their "hand had been forced" when they discovered the "satanic magazine" this week, after Esther Stoltzfus had been tempted into the store by the smell of freshly baked buns.

"She has been disciplined for her temptation," said Yoder, adding that she would be betrothed to Hideous Kurt Plank, the Seven-Fingered Boy, who had finished his community service last week.

Source: Hayibo

Comments

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Y'know, maybe I'm Amish, 'cause I might rather get gangrene than use an Elastoplast since I have no frickin clue what that is. :P

[claidheamhmor]

You don't know what Elastoplast is?

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

No, why would I?

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

I mean, yes, I can Google it, and I sort of get the definition, although "sticking plaster" sounds more like something you make sculpture out of and not something you'd want anywhere near a wound because it sounds like it would dissolve INTO said wound, but no, we don't use that word here.

[claidheamhmor]

Somehow, I thought it was an internationally-known brand.

Anyway... http://int.elastoplast.net/

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

Apparently it is, just not here. When we have a cut or whatever, we use a Band-Aid. :)

Heh, also, that weblink you posted is blocked at my workplace. *snicker*

[claidheamhmor]

Bizarre (about it being blocked - must contain top-sekrit technology not allowed to Americans).

Oh, yeah, we have Band-Aid too. :)

[redqueenmeg.livejournal.com]

We say "Band-Aid" even if we just mean an ordinary bandage, it's one of those pervasive things.

I think it's probably blocked because it hasn't been content-categorized by our babysitters. Most of the stuff that's blocked is 100% innocuous, and you wouldn't believe some of the stuff that does get by. Whatever! :)

[maymorning.livejournal.com]

You got me at first, until I read on! Good one! LOL!!!